How To Cope When Your “Ho Ho Ho” Feels More Like “No No No”!
The festive season can be a sad period for many people and suicide statistics traditionally climb every year around this time. This year, however, is a particularly bad one for many people and is already seeing higher numbers of suicides than before, as well as an increase in depression and anxiety.
Covid-19 has wrought havoc on most lives this year, with massive job losses, salary-cuts, loss of lives, loss of freedom, and forced changes in traditions, habits, and looked-forward-to activities. And then along comes the end of the year and the festive season – stores are glittering with sparkling lights, Christmas trees abound, and carols are playing.
We know we are supposed to feel happy and jolly, yet many are experiencing the opposite as the news is dominated by Coronavirus deaths, hotspots, and renewed lockdown restrictions. Most of us are reminded of our constrained financial circumstances, and uncertainty for the year ahead is rife. Every button of insecurity is being pushed.
Jason Bernic, an Executive Life Coach, offers some insights and advice for those who are struggling with the festive blues this holiday season:
1) Be realistic and take the “ideal” Christmas image out of your head.
“Things are different this year. Families that would usually gather together won’t be able to, money is tight and so gifts that would normally be exchanged won’t be, holidays away are canceled, etc.”
“Adapt to the current circumstances and make the best of what you have without holding onto the image of what it should be.”
2) Forget about the Jones.
Don’t compare your life to other people’s. Forget about how others are living and focus on yourself and your family this festive season,” says Bernic.
“The Coronavirus story has further spread the gap between the haves and the have-nots all around the world and money is tight for nearly everyone. The lives that are displayed in public and on social media are often separate to the reality of the lives that are being lived. Those that you see spending disposable income may just be extending their credit facilities. Don’t get caught up in trying to keep up with the Jones family.”
3) Accept the way you feel but understand that you need to move on from there.
“For those of you that are struggling and feel that you would rather retreat into your own world this festive season, stay home and not get out of your pajamas for days – go for it.”
“You are allowed to wallow in your own misery for a while. We need to work through our emotions to come out stronger on the other side,” advises Bernic. “Too often people tell us not to be sad, not to be angry, etc. but the truth is that we need to let ourselves feel because that is part of the healing process.
“However – this comes with a caveat…don’t allow yourself to wallow for too long and check-in with yourself to ensure you don’t enter a downward spiral. The risk with letting go and allowing yourself to be with the sadness is that you become the sadness instead of the sadness being a temporary emotion.”
4) Reach out.
Bernic advises that you talk about what is going on with trusted confidants. “Don’t hold the pain or the fear inside but rather lean on those that are willing to listen so that you don’t have to deal with anything alone.”
“If you are not comfortable speaking to someone you know and need help, then reach out to professional organisations such as the South African Depression and Anxiety Group. Alternatively, get a life coach to help you move forward effectively and proactively.”
5) Have a plan for the way forward.
“Know where you are going and how you might get there – and set big goals with tiny steps,” says Bernic. “Don’t sit idle – December and January are not a time to kick back if you have been kicked down. You need to gather yourself, strategize and get to work towards your future goals – you never know, 2021 may be the best year yet for you and nothing should stop you. Go and watch the Elon Must video where he was interviewed around giving up.”
6) Feed your mind, body, and soul.
Exercise, meditate, and get healthy – prime yourself for your comeback and make sure you are in good shape mentally and physically to tackle 2021 with vigor.
7) Seasons pass and this one will too.
“Finally, know that this too will pass and believe that everything will be ok in the end,” concludes Bernic.
For more information visit www.successcoaching.co.za